Ten Year High School Reunion

In honor of my ten year high school reunion later this year, I sat down and tried to make a list of some of the things I've done in the last ten years, in no particular order,

• I moved away from home
• I lived in Tucson for 9 years
• I lived in 7 apartments in Tucson (although most of the shuffling happened my first year there)
• I lived in Gilbert for 1 year
• I bought a house
• I attended UA
• I graduated from UA with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a major in Accounting
• I changed my major three times but still finished in 4 years
• I got married
• I miscarried a baby
• I retained a lawyer
• I got divorced
• I watched my belly grow with life
• I gave birth to my son
• I watched my mom die
• I took my son to his first day of Kindergarten
• I ran three 5k’s and one 10K – one 5K with a stroller and my boy
• I got a step-mother and four step-siblings
• I lost a house to a house fire
• I have held two jobs – at UA and at ASU
• I was promoted: from a Jr. Accountant (at UA) to a Sr. Accountant (at UA) to a Sr. Financial Analyst at ASU
• I doubled my salary in five years
• I testified in court on behalf of UA
• I testified in court on behalf of myself
• I toured Steward Observatory’s mirror lab where the largest mirrors in the world are made
• I started a business
• I bought and paid in full for a $40,000, ½ ton, 4 head, industrial embroidery machine
• I learned how to convert pictures into embroidered masterpieces
• I walked away from my business
• I established and ran the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network Affiliate in Tucson
• I jump started and co-lead the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network Affiliate in Phoenix
• I lobbied congress to increase funding for cancer research
• I put together and led a workshop on financial freedom
• I learned how to make ties, shorts, and capes for little boys
• I visited California, Utah, New York, and Washington DC
• I started wearing glasses
• I stopped eating red meat
• I cut my hair short
• I went to my first MLB game
• I became a D’backs fan
• I became a Cardinals fan
• I went to my first concert
• I learned to play tennis
• I took archery lessons from the US Olympic Team’s coach
• I started and then stopped pursuing a Masters in English
• I took on woodworking projects to beautify my home
• I mastered my mom’s bread recipe
• I lost a friend to cancer
• I lost my grandfather
• I adopted friends as family
• I gained new friendships
• I grew closer to family
• I congratulated all four of my sisters on their weddings
• I met 17 new nieces and nephews (added to the two who joined the family before I finished high school)

Vent

Yes you were warned, this is a vent.

So tell me seriously, if you read in a legal document that one person is to provide another person with resonable advance notice in regards to a mutual child, what would that mean to you? How long do you think is reasonable? Yes, I really want to know. Don't try to spare my feelings if you think you might disagree... just tell me what you think.

A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words... So I'm Going to Let Them Say It All

My Pappy

You know how it is when you go get a haircut or something and you just feel different… like the world IS different… all because of a haircut (or a new pair of glasses or that cute new tattoo on your ankle… you know?!!??!) Well that’s how it feels with my dad being married now. It just feels different. It wasn’t really a surprise. I think the element of surprise was lost after their first year of being engaged. But then again, maybe it was a surprise – because after 20 months of being engaged they finally did go through with it and get married.

So nothing is really different but as of Friday, I have a step-mother. Nothing earth shattering or unique about that. It’s just different for me.

And like one sister pointed out… when you have a step-mother, it is another reminder that your own mother really is gone. And yes, I realize she’s been gone for 4 ½ years… but sometimes I like to pretend that we just haven’t called each other in a while and I can still be in denial over the fact that she’s gone. Because if you haven’t lost a parent (or someone very close to you) you may not realize this… but it hurts long after the bleeding has stopped.

So in case you get the wrong idea, I extend my congratulations to my dad on his nuptials. I understand the loneliness that accompanies the loss of a relationship and I’m happy that he has someone to change his diapers when he’s old and decrepit (instead of me!!) I wish them well in the marriage and hope that they will provide companionship and support to each other into their old age.

Bless and be blessed!

Wicked

So sometimes I forget my camera at the most inoportune times. So until the others post their pics and I steal them from their blogs, here, enjoy this one:


The show was awesome! It was seriously so much fun and really great company! I was glad it didn't follow the book. But it was seriously so good and I would recommomend it to anyone!

Thank you Rhea for the birthday gift!

P.S. Rhea was at Z's b'day party (see previous post) but I need to go and lighten up the picture I have of her because the lighting was not so good. In the meantime, here's a random one of her in Duncan. (Ain't she cute!)

Baby oh Baby

It's official... my baby....
... is five years old!! It's so amazing!!


We started out his day of fun by me picking him up in Tucson at 8 am. We had a small breakfast pirate party at our really good friends house.

This is him with his friend... I had to include this shot because check out that stance. She has got the look.

He got a pancake breakfast and got to blow out the candles.

This is the brother of the friend below. He is such a cute kid!

A little pre-swim sword play...

And then hitting the pool... he went crazy! It's so much more fun to swim with other kids than just with mom.

The little girl is a sister to the little girl and little boy above. She's a spitball of energy!

We drove home and had a small party here too. Some guests, and yes, a whoopy cushion (so much better than the real thing... or at least less smelly!)

More sweet friends! Thanks everyone for coming!

This is the cake. I felt somewhat that I had to redeem myself from the falling over towers from last year. This one didn't fall over until I after I cut off the front half of it.

Getting ready to blow out some candles!

And the pinata! (Man those things are sturdy!)

Z taking a swing at it. I was upstairs working the ropes so I didn't see it all but I think he made contact with the dishwasher at one point.

This is E taking a swing too!

And G'ma going at it.

Everyone got a turn at it and seriously - those things are hardy!

I got the good candy, which I'm still regretting becauseI still have lots of it here.

It was such a fun day and I'm really grateful for the people that came and made it special. I can't believe my baby is 5 and getting ready for Kindergarten. I feel really lucky to have him as my little boy! Love me some Z!

Little, Sweet, Makes-it-all-worth-it, Z!!

So growing up, divorce was basically a swear word and you don’t even think about something like that. But I'm divorced and since I have that background, I occasionally question if I did the right thing. But I am lucky enough to have moments where I am reminded that I fully made the correct decision – not only for myself but for my son’s well being.

My boy graduated from Preschool this past weekend. He is seriously the cutest kid on this planet. He took the whole thing so seriously and did wonderful singing the songs and participating in his program.

He was lucky enough to have both his mom and dad there, his dad’s parents, and my dad and his fiancé, along with a cousin of mine (THANK YOU ALLIE and DAD and KELLY so much for coming!!) And it was hard to be there. I recently got dragged into mediation with my ex (by my ex through a court order thank you very much) during which we had a lot of conflict and a lot of high emotions running around. So being in the same room with him after that confrontation was HARD! But we sat in different parts of the room and I warned my dad that he was not to engage them in lengthy conversation. (note – I didn’t forbid him from talking to them at all… which is deep down what I really wanted to do…)

But it was honestly sad to watch my ex and see how this was a bit hard for him. My cousin pointed out and my dad seconded it when I brought it up to him that my ex looked very out of place. And he did seem awkward. At one point, the music teacher just came up to me. I had never met her before but I think she saw Z with me and she started talking about how wonderful he is and Z is her fav student and behind her, I saw my ex come up and try to interject himself into the conversation. I honestly think she really didn’t see him and ya it’s mean but I made no effort to draw him into the conversation.

And my ex’s parents were friendly to me. His mom even asked me at one point how I was doing – and I’m inferring here (based on body language and heck, I knew her for 6 years) but I’m pretty sure she meant “how’re’ya doing being in the same room as your ex?” She even snagged a pic of Z and me (which I thought about doing with Z and his dad but just couldn’t… yet… maybe next graduation.)

So a week or two ago, my ex requested a bit of time to take Z out after the program over email, which I agreed to let him do. After the graduation, I talked to my ex’s mom briefly to tell her that we were going and told her where my ex and I had already agreed on meeting (in our previously mentioned email) and then our group left. Then I got two angry phone calls and several flat out rude texts from his dad. He was pissed at me because I told his mom I was leaving instead of him and he wanted to have a phone convo about it. He's getting really obsessed with talking on the phone. Very stupid and juvenile. It makes it really hard to be nice to him at all when he decides he has to be such a HUGE jerk because of his own insecurities!



So you would probably think that was the moment where I just thought to myself – wow I’m glad I’m not with that jerk!... which is somewhat true because at that moment I was glad I wasn’t married to him. But really, walking out of that program, leaving Z with that side of his family for their hour, I was happy because I know that had we stayed married, his dad wouldn’t have ever made the effort to be a part of something like that. He was so uninvolved in our son’s life. So my aha moment, really, was walking away knowing that by walking away from his dad those 3+ years ago, I had given my son a dad. I know it sounds so crazy and backwards and counter-intuitive but it’s true. And someday, maybe in another life, his dad will owe me a thanks for finally being willing to hold him responsible for his bad behavior and follow through with some natural consequences. Even though we still have unfortunate interaction, my boy is worth it.

So there...!!!!!!!