I'm a Wuss

Day 1 of Z's Spring Break... aka... the beginning of one week away from me... and Z with his dad. I worked a 10 hour day. I went and had my bike tire changed (it had a slow leak.) I returned some stuff at the library. And then I got some groceries cuz let's face it... I have no food.

(a better picture of Sorbet because my first picture didn't cut it... but I had to leave the first picture on cuz if you're like me and you read the comments about how it looked like a weird organ, I'd wanna see... so the above picture is for my peace of mind... the below is to satisify your curiousity... in case it you wanted it satisfied.)
I wanted to drown my sorrows but for some reason, the Strawberry Sorbet I got doesn't taste anything like the Chocolate Goo Goo Clusters I was expecting. Stupid vegan experiment. (BTW - I am totally not vegan. Once this last week is over... I am eating cheese... and yes, Dad, I know it gets stuck in my colon.)

The only thing left to do tonight is run. Day 7 of my new running program. Crank the music. Get in a rhythm. And work of some extra calories so once this vegan experiment is over... I can OD on my Goo Goo Clusters!

P.S. Thanks everyone for the great package ideas. I sent the package off Saturday... just hope it doesn't get "withheld" or confiscated or anything dumb.

P.P.S. Why am I suddenly hit with such a longing to talk to my momma?

Goings On

The funny thing about losing your download-pictures-from-your-camera-onto-your-computer cord is that once you do find it... you end up with a couple months of fun to catch up on!!


This is Z up in Lakeside playing in the snow with cousins. He loves it!! I personally think I'm done with snow for the season. It's supposed to be 80 here next week and all I can say is... it's about time!!!

At the end of last month, one of my little sisters came into town for a conference and we went to a restaurant fundraiser for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network - good food, raising money... can't complain!

The last weekend in February Wade came up with his tractor to help my uncle with some backyard work. He let Z take the wheel and run the levers... fun was had by all (I think... at least if not, Wade's nice enough that he wouldn't say so!)

That same weekend, Z lost his first tooth!! He was opening a bag with his teeth (so healthy, I know) and it just popped out. I didn't even realize it was loose. It started gushing blood and I thought something was wrong because I don't remember my teeth bleeding. Seems to be the normal thing though. He was so excited. So excited, in fact, that he lost it the first night and we had to scour the house for the tooth the next day to get it under the pillow in time for the tooth fairy. He requested that I sew him a little bag to put the tooth in and I when I did, he looked at it and decided it was big enough for the tooth but not for any prize that the tooth fairy would leave so asked me to make another bigger bag. Speaking of which, I don't remember where he ended up putting that so I guess I might end up making another two bags.

Just liked this picture.

Sam and Gramma Wamma's impression of "American Gothic." Cuuute!!

So that's what we've been up to... or at least what's been documented by my sometimes missing camera!

Funny Political

Ok so I saw this and thought it was the funniest political advertisement ever!

I'm so glad there's someone out there willing to protect my vitamins!! I mean all these people are talking about jobs and healthcare and education... pshaw... who cares?? But here... here is a leader who cares about my vitamins. Now that is a candidate with a platform I can get behind!

Vent

(Haha - get it... vent... hehe!!)

I just got an email from my ex telling me he’s going to take my son for all of spring break. It’s not really a surprise because he did the same thing to me over fall break. And it means I don’t have to work out arrangements with Tia Rhea to make sure he’s taken care of during that week since I have to work… but dangit all… I hate thinking about a week away from him. I know I can get things done and do more at work… but I probably won’t. I’m sure he’ll have fun and not even miss me with all the stuff his dad usually plans… but I’ll miss him. I’m glad his dad wants to be in his life but I hate sharing him. I’m like a selfish kid with a toy… I want him here all the time… even when I’m in crazy-stressed-mom zone. For fall break, I took off to the east coast to keep myself occupied. Can’t take off work to do that kind of thing this time… so what do I do with myself?

Good start would probably stop feeling sorry for myself and find positive ways to take advantage of the time I will have to get things done. And hey… at least he gave me some notice this time! I’m pretty lucky to have such a wonderful boy. At least I miss him and don’t wish he were gone more!

Guess I’ll have to start putting together a sweet care package for him… maybe I’ll send flarp and play-dough and all the gross sticky stuff his dad occasionally sends him here so he’ll see how messy and gross it is and stop sending it to my house… cuz that stuff is gross. And cheap! :P

Oh well... guess I’ll be ok… just wanted to be sad for a minute. Guess my minute’s up.

Details...

About two and a half years ago, I was still living in Tucson and one of my very closest friends at the time was Arlene. She is a sweet, loving, caring, giving person. She was diagnosed with cancer in the last half of 2007. As you probably know if you know me, my mom died in January 2005. When my mom was sick, I didn’t get nearly enough time with her. When Arlene was diagnosed, I knew I didn’t want to have the same regrets that I had with my mom so Z and I spent considerable amounts of time with her. As her condition worsened and she went in and out the hospital for surgeries and over to stay with some of her family and finally into hospice… I just spent as much time with her as I could.

In that time, I met her parents, all of her siblings and many of her nieces and nephews. Some I saw a lot more than others; one of her brothers in particular was there quite a bit, too. She passed away in April 15, 2008 (which I have to say is a bit ironic cuz she was an Accountant… and she passed away on tax day… I think she planned it…)

(Arlene and Wade - Wade shaved his head after Arlene went through chemo)

I went to the funeral and of course went on with life. I ended up moving out of Tucson. I still thought/think about Arlene and miss her. A couple of weeks after the first anniversary of her death, her brother, Wade, noticed me through a mutual friend on FaceBook and thought it would be fun to say hi. He was the brother that was hanging around Arlene’s bedside about the same times and frequency as me. That was last April and we’ve been pen-pals since then. In September, he came up here and we had dinner to catch up and chat and reminisce. Then we met up a couple weeks later and then again… and since Halloween of last year, we’ve hung out every weekend except one when I was in Utah and he was in AZ.

We’ve both been divorced and we have some strong similarities in the experiences we’ve had with our ex’s. He has two very cute and sweet daughters. He works in education, kicks butt on the basketball court, is handsome and intelligent, enjoys reading and the outdoors, has a dog, takes great pictures, is a people person, and a lot of other really great things. We’re both the fourth kid from larger families, both exhibit middle child characteristics, both grew up in small towns, both love our kids, our families….

(Wade and his two daughters at a family reunion)

We’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what it will take for us to beat the odds. Statistically speaking, 50% of first marriages end in divorce and 70% of second marriages end in divorce. We’ve both been there and done that and are invested in avoiding it. We both experienced some extremes with our ex’s… and are hopeful that we’ve found something a little more stable and real-world…. (not having to deal with suicidal ideation and weighing whether or not NOW is the time to have him committed…!) But also realize we will have other problems that we’ll face. We have a bit of an age gap between us which may be interesting down the road as he reaches some milestones before me but having watched my mom die at a young age, it ups the value of having found what feels like home now.

(Our trip to SLC in November... you can tell it's Nov cuz I have blue streaks in my hair... today I have red...)

Speaking only for myself, it’s been a long and sometimes difficult journey to open myself up to trust and to work through some of the residual fears and concerns from my last marriage. I feel lucky because we started out as friends. I don’t know that I could have made this leap with someone I didn’t know for that long and I’ve gotten to see Wade at bad times (with the passing of his sister) and through a lot of good and fun times.

So we are looking real soon at having a small, simple little wedding. We want to have a small house party afterwards here and one in Tucson to just invite some friends and family over to celebrate with us. So I’ll keep you posted about that – we probably won’t do formal invitations… just kinda spread the word… but anyone who wants to come is welcome….

Did I miss anything?

Just Saying...

Picture Update

(aka.... catching up on stuff since November - can you tell I've gotten busy lately??)

This is Z at the Fall Festival for his school - it was right after Halloween so he was still into pirates and skulls... so that is a skull on his face (no, it's not a ghost!)

Z's school did a Turkey Day program and much to my surprise, I show up and the cute little bugger has the lead as the Pastor! So dang cute!! (You wanna know what's funny/sad/mean of me...? That butt with the grey sweater/red undershirt poking out on the right side of the pic... is Z's step-mom...)

We had friends over to make ginger bread houses before Christmas. They ended up all being very flimsy... but it was still a blast. You can't see it in this picture but Z said he made the garage to go to my house instead of a house... cuz he couldn't get the roof to stay up!

Z loves Santa!!! Tho he's figured out that he isn't meeting the real Santa. This is just Santa's helper who goes back to the real Santa and tells him what all the good kids want. But, in Z's humble opinion, this one looked pretty real. I think it had something to do with him wearing glasses (Santa... not Z...)

I upgraded my phone in November and got the new Droid. My baby bro Ty wanted to mess around with it and decided to put in a picture for his contact so whenever he rings me up... this is what pops up... too precious not to share!!!

While in Utah over the winter break, we had all of us siblings - except Greggy (who's on a mission in Texas)... meaning we had all the grandkids - up to 20 now! So of course... we had to take pictures!! Aren't they cuuuuuute!!

When we went up to Utah, we flew. I hate that 14 hour drive and Z loves flying!! On both the way there and the way back he was peeking into the cockpit and he got invited to step in. On the way home, the pilot even told him to sit in his seat so I got this cool picture!! What a stud-muffin!!!

Z just got his hair cut!! Seriously... stud-muffin!!! Thanks Ash!! You're the best!!

We went to a ranch this past long weekend and Z got some quality time in with the horses. They were just following him around and loving on him!! So cool!

Well then he wanted to know if he could ride one so we threw him up there (bare back and all) and took him around! I love this picture of him!! He seems so grown up and so small at the same time. Look at his short little legs!

He loved it! What an adventure!!