Baby oh Baby

It's official... my baby....
... is five years old!! It's so amazing!!


We started out his day of fun by me picking him up in Tucson at 8 am. We had a small breakfast pirate party at our really good friends house.

This is him with his friend... I had to include this shot because check out that stance. She has got the look.

He got a pancake breakfast and got to blow out the candles.

This is the brother of the friend below. He is such a cute kid!

A little pre-swim sword play...

And then hitting the pool... he went crazy! It's so much more fun to swim with other kids than just with mom.

The little girl is a sister to the little girl and little boy above. She's a spitball of energy!

We drove home and had a small party here too. Some guests, and yes, a whoopy cushion (so much better than the real thing... or at least less smelly!)

More sweet friends! Thanks everyone for coming!

This is the cake. I felt somewhat that I had to redeem myself from the falling over towers from last year. This one didn't fall over until I after I cut off the front half of it.

Getting ready to blow out some candles!

And the pinata! (Man those things are sturdy!)

Z taking a swing at it. I was upstairs working the ropes so I didn't see it all but I think he made contact with the dishwasher at one point.

This is E taking a swing too!

And G'ma going at it.

Everyone got a turn at it and seriously - those things are hardy!

I got the good candy, which I'm still regretting becauseI still have lots of it here.

It was such a fun day and I'm really grateful for the people that came and made it special. I can't believe my baby is 5 and getting ready for Kindergarten. I feel really lucky to have him as my little boy! Love me some Z!

Little, Sweet, Makes-it-all-worth-it, Z!!

So growing up, divorce was basically a swear word and you don’t even think about something like that. But I'm divorced and since I have that background, I occasionally question if I did the right thing. But I am lucky enough to have moments where I am reminded that I fully made the correct decision – not only for myself but for my son’s well being.

My boy graduated from Preschool this past weekend. He is seriously the cutest kid on this planet. He took the whole thing so seriously and did wonderful singing the songs and participating in his program.

He was lucky enough to have both his mom and dad there, his dad’s parents, and my dad and his fiancé, along with a cousin of mine (THANK YOU ALLIE and DAD and KELLY so much for coming!!) And it was hard to be there. I recently got dragged into mediation with my ex (by my ex through a court order thank you very much) during which we had a lot of conflict and a lot of high emotions running around. So being in the same room with him after that confrontation was HARD! But we sat in different parts of the room and I warned my dad that he was not to engage them in lengthy conversation. (note – I didn’t forbid him from talking to them at all… which is deep down what I really wanted to do…)

But it was honestly sad to watch my ex and see how this was a bit hard for him. My cousin pointed out and my dad seconded it when I brought it up to him that my ex looked very out of place. And he did seem awkward. At one point, the music teacher just came up to me. I had never met her before but I think she saw Z with me and she started talking about how wonderful he is and Z is her fav student and behind her, I saw my ex come up and try to interject himself into the conversation. I honestly think she really didn’t see him and ya it’s mean but I made no effort to draw him into the conversation.

And my ex’s parents were friendly to me. His mom even asked me at one point how I was doing – and I’m inferring here (based on body language and heck, I knew her for 6 years) but I’m pretty sure she meant “how’re’ya doing being in the same room as your ex?” She even snagged a pic of Z and me (which I thought about doing with Z and his dad but just couldn’t… yet… maybe next graduation.)

So a week or two ago, my ex requested a bit of time to take Z out after the program over email, which I agreed to let him do. After the graduation, I talked to my ex’s mom briefly to tell her that we were going and told her where my ex and I had already agreed on meeting (in our previously mentioned email) and then our group left. Then I got two angry phone calls and several flat out rude texts from his dad. He was pissed at me because I told his mom I was leaving instead of him and he wanted to have a phone convo about it. He's getting really obsessed with talking on the phone. Very stupid and juvenile. It makes it really hard to be nice to him at all when he decides he has to be such a HUGE jerk because of his own insecurities!



So you would probably think that was the moment where I just thought to myself – wow I’m glad I’m not with that jerk!... which is somewhat true because at that moment I was glad I wasn’t married to him. But really, walking out of that program, leaving Z with that side of his family for their hour, I was happy because I know that had we stayed married, his dad wouldn’t have ever made the effort to be a part of something like that. He was so uninvolved in our son’s life. So my aha moment, really, was walking away knowing that by walking away from his dad those 3+ years ago, I had given my son a dad. I know it sounds so crazy and backwards and counter-intuitive but it’s true. And someday, maybe in another life, his dad will owe me a thanks for finally being willing to hold him responsible for his bad behavior and follow through with some natural consequences. Even though we still have unfortunate interaction, my boy is worth it.

So there...!!!!!!!

Cut It

Saturday:


















Monday:

Reflections

I realize the kind of post I want to write tonight is not really the kind of post that's much fun to read. No cute pictures of my cute cute kid or house updates or anything like that.

I really just wanted to comment on the status of my life. Moving to Phoenix was a bigger adjustment that I had realized at the time. I don't regret at all the decision to move here but having lived in Tucson for almost ten years and having settled into what was a routine there, it was a bit difficult to get used to being here.

But I've been here ten months and I can say I love it! I love being so close to a side of my family that I didn't used to see very much. I love making new friends, reconnecting with old ones, experiencing all the Valley has to offer. I still miss my friends and the familiarity of Tucson but I'm really getting the hang of it here.

I also wanted to talk about parenting. It's kinda funny how so much of our parenting is done almost as an after thought - a reaction instead of a deliberate action. We want our kids to feel what we feel because it validates our thoughts and ideas - whether they are ones that should be validated or not. And it can be very easy to manipulate them into that. It requires a deliberate, thoughtful approach and an honest look at what we want vs. what's best to kinda snap out of it and make the best choices. And even then, what we want can sometimes be so overpowering for us that that's just what we end up going with.

I've come to some peace over the aspects of the parenting of my son (especially ones out of my control) with this thought - we all have screwed up childhoods. Or not. It depends more on our view of it than of the actual event. You can look back and remember every horrible detail of why your life was so hard and so hurtful and.... Or you can see the funny stories, the laughter, the love, the companionship. It really is a choice. And while it really is my responsibility to do my best to raise my son with his own moral compass and an ability to see things clearly and realistically, I do believe it is also my job to teach him optimism and how to selectively remember the things will make life pleasant.

We've made it a nightly tradition to tell each other stories. He's pretty funny because he'll tell me stories about how when he was grown up and I was a baby and he used to bring me flowers.... I love it! But I tell him stories from my childhood - about the waterbed mattresses that we filled with air and were bounced off of by older siblings... or the tree in the lot across the street that we used to climb on during winter and pretend it was a horse with someone down on the ground pulling branches to make it swing up and down... or about the chickens that we had and the time when my dad cut all their heads off and those crazy headless chickens chased around the whole yard.

I don't think I'm living in denial. I know things weren't perfect. But I do know my parents loved me and they tried their best in raising me... and I hope my own son will recognize that too as he grows up... and lets go of the things that hurt and hold tight to the things that make him giggle!!

Earth Day Fun Run

We went to Tempe Town Lakes today for this Earth Day thing they had going on. We thought it would be a fun excuse to get out of the house and I've never actually never made it over there (it's really quite nice.) Well as part of it, they did a 5k and then had a fun run for the kids. We got there just in time for the fun run so we got Z his number and he got lined up with the other kids.

(Yea - notice they're all number 1!)

He was pretty excited - getting in runner's stance!

They had to run down and go around a guy holding an orange flag, go around him and run back.

They all got medals and Z was so thrilled.

Got Bored

So I dropped Z off last night to hang out with his dad for the weekend and I was sitting at home watching another season of Project Runway and i was getting kinda bored with it (shocker - I know!) so lemme tell you what I did.

Months ago I bought a flat sheet at Goodwill. This isn't that sheet but it's the same print... this one actually goes on Z's bed although since I just washed it, he's been using it as a makeshift tent.

I've posted this picture before but I took that flat sheet and I made curtains for Z's room from them:

It was too long so I had cut off about a foot off the end. Since I have the material collecting disease, I kept the scraps and last night... I made these:



He won't wear jeans anymore because he can't run fast in them so I'm trying to make him enough pairs of shorts that he's good for the summer. After he gets home and I get the elastic in set to his waist, I'll post a pic of him in them!! Here's a picture of him in the fire/dragon shorts I made for him last week (and just so you know - he chose the shirt and I couldn't talk him out of it in favor of something a little more matching):

For kicks - here's the cake we made for my dad's b'day on Sunday! Happy Heinz 57!!

Finally, Z was really excited to see his new cousin this weekend (and hang out with the not so new ones!) and everytime I held the baby, he wanted to hold the baby. What a gem!

New Niece!! UPDATED!!

UPDATE: Her name is Cara Brianne! Cute!!



Just wanted to say I have a new niece!!

This makes 5 for BandM! Congrats guys! (Also makes 20 grandkids for my Pop if you were interested... boy aren't we a fertile bunch!)




7 lbs, 3 oz, 19 3/4", born at 10:49 pm yesterday. Not sure on the name but heard rumors of a possible Kristi (with creative liberties taken on the spelling of that!)